Brett Neely

The super-cheesy annual Eurovision song contest (held in May) has had its share of political undertones in the past few years (Georgia, Russia, etc), but the latest case of politics creeping into the event has a downright Stalinist cast to it (minus the Siberian gulag).

From RFE/RL (h/t A Fistful of Euros):

Rovshan Nasirli, a young Eurovision fan living in the Azerbaijani capital Baku, says he was summoned this week to the country’s National Security Ministry — to explain why he had voted for Armenia during this year’s competition in May.

“They wanted an explanation for why I voted for Armenia. They said it was a matter of national security,” Nasirli said. “They were trying to put psychological pressure on me, saying things like, ‘You have no sense of ethnic pride. How come you voted for Armenia?’ They made me write out an explanation, and then they let me go.”

A total of 43 Azeris voted for the Armenian duo Inga and Anush, and their song, “Jan-Jan.”

Though the Azerbaijan entry wound up getting a very respectable third place, the thought that Azeris might support Azerbaijan’s arch-enemy, Armenia, was a bit too much. Never mind that the Azeri entry included an Iranian-Swedish singer joined by an Azeri pop star – which prompted Nasirli’s protest vote for Armenia. Even scarier is how the Azeri spooks discovered Nasirli’s “traitorous” voting:

Nasirli, like others, used his mobile phone to send a text message expressing his preference, little imagining his vote would eventually result in a summons from national security officials. (By contrast, 1,065 Armenians voted for the Azerbaijani team, apparently without consequence.)

A couple of points worth noting here. First, the Azeri state must feel insanely insecure if someone within the security services felt the need to look up SMS records to find out who’s not for Team Azerbaijan in one of the world’s silliest televised events. Human Rights Watch has documented the country’s heavy-handed attempts to silence dissent.

Second, in case you didn’t realize this until now: when it comes to cell phones, you have no privacy. Your text messages are like postcards, waiting to be read if the right people have access to telecoms databases. Other ways in which your cell phone is a potential danger to you, especially in undemocratic states (but sometimes in democratic ones, too), your location can be tracked quite easily and in the US, the FBI can even secretly activate the phone’s microphone and listen in on your conversations when you think the phone is off.

After scaring you senseless, it’s time for something completely silly. The Azeri Eurovision entry in question, which to my ears sounds like a Ricky Martin knock-off (sung in English, too! For all the Azeri nationalists out there, obviously…):