Germany's election is as interesting as East German architecture, informed sources say. (Photo: Brett Neely, 2008)

Germany’s election is officially boring, the NYT has spoken. The headline says it all:

In Dull German Race, ’08 Dinner Is an Issue

I’ll grant the Timesfolk the dullness, but no one should be that surprised. Having gotten over the idea that political leaders should inspire fevered passion about 64 years ago, German politicians often play it safe and gray. But yeah, given that the economy just went through the worst recession in 60 years, the state’s finances are shot and no one really knows what to do with the banks, I guess you’d expect a bit more passion out on the stump.

Today, cycling through the Tiergarten, I finally saw the first big collection of election posters I’ve seen all season. Given that we’re at T-minus 31 days until the election, that’s sort of wild by American standards. Then again, I’m sure 80 percent of the electorate will vote, so maybe it doesn’t matter that it’s boring.

From RFE/RL (h/t A Fistful of Euros):

Rovshan Nasirli, a young Eurovision fan living in the Azerbaijani capital Baku, says he was summoned this week to the country’s National Security Ministry — to explain why he had voted for Armenia during this year’s competition in May.

“They wanted an explanation for why I voted for Armenia. They said it was a matter of national security,” Nasirli said. “They were trying to put psychological pressure on me, saying things like, ‘You have no sense of ethnic pride. How come you voted for Armenia?’ They made me write out an explanation, and then they let me go.”

A total of 43 Azeris voted for the Armenian duo Inga and Anush, and their song, “Jan-Jan.”

Though the Azerbaijan entry wound up getting a very respectable third place, the thought that Azeris might support Azerbaijan’s arch-enemy, Armenia, was a bit too much. Never mind that the Azeri entry included an Iranian-Swedish singer joined by an Azeri pop star – which prompted Nasirli’s protest vote for Armenia. Even scarier is how the Azeri spooks discovered Nasirli’s “traitorous” voting:

Nasirli, like others, used his mobile phone to send a text message expressing his preference, little imagining his vote would eventually result in a summons from national security officials. (By contrast, 1,065 Armenians voted for the Azerbaijani team, apparently without consequence.)

A couple of points worth noting here. First, the Azeri state must feel insanely insecure if someone within the security services felt the need to look up SMS records to find out who’s not for Team Azerbaijan in one of the world’s silliest televised events. Human Rights Watch has documented the country’s heavy-handed attempts to silence dissent.

Second, in case you didn’t realize this until now: when it comes to cell phones, you have no privacy. Your text messages are like postcards, waiting to be read if the right people have access to telecoms databases. Other ways in which your cell phone is a potential danger to you, especially in undemocratic states (but sometimes in democratic ones, too), your location can be tracked quite easily and in the US, the FBI can even secretly activate the phone’s microphone and listen in on your conversations when you think the phone is off.

After scaring you senseless, it’s time for something completely silly. The Azeri Eurovision entry in question, which to my ears sounds like a Ricky Martin knock-off (sung in English, too! For all the Azeri nationalists out there, obviously…):

August is known as the Sommerloch in the German news business, the summer hole. Like in the US, it’s when the crazies (think of those who say health care reform will lead to toilet paper rationing) can get their 15 minutes without breaking a sweat. Here, Vera Lengsfeld, a Berlin candidate from a marginal district who belongs to Chancellor Angela Merkel’s Christian Democrats has put up a poster that has both her and the chancellor displaying a little decolletage with the slogan “We have more to offer.”

(Lengsfeld, incidentally has a fascinating personal history. She was a Communist Party member in East Germany who was expelled for protesting the stationing of Soviet nuclear missiles. She was later arrested by the Stasi, the East German secret police and sent into exile. Upon returning to Germany after the Wall fell, she found out her husband had been spying on her for the Stasi, which led to their divorce. She was active in environmental politics and was a member of the Green Party before moving to the much more conservative CDU.)

The only two reasons this story is zinging around the German press are 1) great pictures and 2) despite the fact that the election is only seven weeks ago, the conclusion seems so foregone (another Merkel-led CDU coalition) that most pundits here seem to have given up. The Social Democrat’s, the CDU’s rivals and current coalition partners, seem out of steam and out of ideas. The polling data says that even if the German public doesn’t believe the CDU’s promises to cut taxes after the election, they’d rather vote for another round of Merkel than the SDP’s hapless candidate Frank-Walter Steinmeier, who has all the charisma of a dead fish.

It’s weird to watch as an outsider because there are many legitimate questions to raise about how Merkel has governed (or punted, as in the case of rescuing the banks) but instead, the election seems destined to be fought with empty slogans and saucy posters.

UPDATE: Now you can learn scintillating things about me by clicking About Me. Or, even better, you can find examples of my work by clicking on Stories.

We’re off to the coast and to Lithuania today, back in Berlin on the 9th.